Space

Independence is a funny thing. All through childhood I wanted to break free from the chains of restriction. I wanted, better yet I needed my space. I had to feel like I controlled all aspects of my life, that I was free to make my own decisions without being told yes or no from authority.

Now a senior in high school, my thirst for independence has greatly impacted my decisions.

I workout and attend MMA classes on a consistent basis because I feel I have control over the outcome. I have the freedom to better myself and gain a sense of pride in what I have accomplished.

One of my six schools I have applied to is in New York State. I have always wanted to get away and now I am so close to fulfilling that longing.

But independence has its drawbacks.

Leaving would mean saying goodbye to my family for extended periods of time. To leave my friends who I have known all my life in order to pursue a life of my own. I will no longer have anyone to rely on but myself..and this is what I have been looking forward to? I'll be the first to admit, I am scared. Scared to make the wrong decision and regret it. I know I have to take chances, I am just not sure I am ready to leave it all behind.

To say the least I am conflicted, and I have a lot to think about in the upcoming months.